as I was saying...

Henri Nouwen magaged to say it much better:

"Let us not underestimate how hard it is to be compassionate. Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to the place where they are weak, Vulnerable, lonely, and broken. But this is not our spontaneous response to suffering...Our greatest gift [is]our ability to enter into solidarity with those who suffer.

"In order to be of service to others we have to die to them; that is, we have to give up measuring our meaning and value with the yardstick of others. To die to our neighbor means to stop judging them, to stop evaluating them, and thus to become free to be compassionate. Compassion can never coexist with judgement because judgement creates the distance, the distinction, which prevents us from really being with the other.

"Much of our ministry is pervaded with judgements. Often quite unconsciously we classify people as very good, good, neutral, bad, and very bad. These judgements influence deeply the thoughts, words, and actions of our ministry. Before we know it, we fall into the trap of the self-fulfilling prophecy. Those whom we consider lazy, indifferent, hostile, or obnoxious we treat as such, forcing them in this way to live up to our own views. And so, much of our ministry is limited by the snares of our own judgements. These self-created limits prevent us from being available to people and shrivel up our compassion."

(speaking of compassion as the fruit of solitude)

Henri Nouwen, The Way of the Heart